Not sleeping is very painful, I can personally attest to this, but having a partner that doesn’t sleep can be also be very distressing (or so I hear). If you’re interested in knowing how to help your partner who can’t sleep, from someone who has had a lot of difficulty sleeping, then read on.
1. Sounds awful. Can you tell me more?
We are all problem solvers at heart and when our partner tells us that they can’t sleep and are going through a tough time, all we want to do is make is better right? Well, while our intentions might be good, you can help your partner who can’t sleep by making them feel understood. They know all the advice, sleep hygiene tips are coming out of our ears — believe me. So while your advice is warranted, it’s not needed.
Instead, here’s what you might say to help someone who can’t sleep:
- Tell me what this is like for you
- What do you do when you’re awake?
- I know I can’t make it better but I’m listening.
2. Wake me up tonight and let’s watch a boxset together
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of being awake all night when you know everyone else is sleeping and thinking that everyone in the whole world is sleeping apart from you. Every once in a while, it would be lovely to have you sit up with us so we feel less alone (c’mon you sleep so much!!)
I know this isn’t a practical long term strategy and often not feasible when there’s stuff to do the next day but every once in a while, it’s good to break the rules.
It would be nice to know tonight, if we can’t sleep, we won’t be alone.
Heads up! The boxsets you choose should be really easy to follow storylines and not very active so there’s a possibility we can close our eyes and fall asleep (although don’t tell us that or we never will!)
Here’s are some boxsets that have worked well for me in the past:
3. We’ll get through this together whatever it takes
I think one of the hardest parts of struggling with sleep is the feeling of being utterly and terrifyingly alone in this. Ultimately we know that we are the only ones that can get us out of this but that in itself is pretty much the problem.
The best way to help your partner who cant sleep, is to make us feel like you are in this with us.
Try say:
- Let’s both work on cleaning up our diet together
- Let’s take a walk together in the evening before bed
- Why don’t we both sit down together and brainstorm some stuff to do
4. Tell me how I can make today easier for you
When you can’t sleep at night, it can make every nerve ending tingle and even the smallest simplest things are out of the question. Things that we previously took for granted can now be impossible, even going to the post-office or doing some food shopping.
One way which can help your partner who can’t sleep us is to take some of the small stuff off our plate so we can just focus on the important stuff that needs to get done.
Here’s some other things you can say:
- Let me take over household chores for a bit and you take the time to do something relaxing.
- What on your list can you handover to me right now?
- Let’s rip up the list!
5. Let’s plan some nice stuff to do in the diary
Not sleeping can make the days feel like the darkest of dark and it is bleak. Having some nice stuff planned does help.
In the midst of a Covid-19 pandemic, this can be difficult but it really doesn’t have to be anything big. In fact smaller stuff, closer to home is more suitable anyway! (there you go covid!)
Here are some things you can say to help your partner who can’t sleep:
- Want to go on a walk through the park today?
- Why don’t we get a (healthy!) takeaway from your favourite restaurant
- Let’s pick a beach we haven’t been to and go there this weekend
Looking for a natural sleep remedy? I sell CBD products for sleep. Please DM me, or email cliona@plus120.com if you want to know more.
